in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize