Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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