She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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