pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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