i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize