Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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