I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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