Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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