His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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