I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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