Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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