he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize