based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize