We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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