i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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