maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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