im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize