Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize