Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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