Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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