As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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