i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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