she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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