The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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