you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize