when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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