if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I currently don't understand fingers.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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