the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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