I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize