I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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