I wish my penis had an off switch
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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