Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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