I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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