he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize