you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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