there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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