there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize