I hate all girls vehemently.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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