with your own penis?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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