If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize