omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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