my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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