Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize