Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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