your room smells of hookers.
And success
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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