Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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