where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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