So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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