Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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