Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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